I was recently chatting with a waiter/actor who is both vain and economically challenged. He informed me that not only did the master cleans make him feel and look amazing, but the money he saved on buying food and alcoholic drinks enabled him to pay for a class that he had recently enrolled in. Apparently, he lived on a mixture of water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper for 11 days. It sounds absolutely disgusting, but many people I know swear by it. I personally would start hallucinating and be a cranky bitch. But, he lost 10 pounds, cleaned out his intestines and his skin looked flawless. He also mentioned something about an enema. That's where he totally lost me....
1 comment:
Here's the advice I can offer you from my personal experience.
The first few days you will want to kill yourself. Do not kill yourself. It gets drastically better really quickly.
Don't have food in your house. This was a lifesaver for me. I didn't have so much as a Cheerio for the full two weeks.
Working out helps a lot with moving things along, getting stuff out, and improving your mental state. Definitely don't do anything physical the first few days, and definitely don't run a marathon while you're on it, but low-key jogging or what-have-you at the gym every other day really enhanced the good feelings I was having.
Don't listen to haters. Everyone thinks they know everything about the body and what it can do. They don't, and neither do I. I do know my body, and I know that if I had been feeling exhausted or having bad cramps or anything like that, I would have stopped. For me, a fairly healthy man in my twenties, it worked like a charm.
Eat a lot of whatever you want the day before you start. Really gorge. This helps you get through the dreadful first few days. And it's fun.
Read everything you can find on the Master Cleanse before starting. Google searching specific problems/questions always yielded results for me, too.
Here's how to do it:
Have all your ingredients at home and good to go. Don't make individual glasses throughout the day, this is annoying and time consuming. Make your whole day's worth in the morning. Here's what I used, and it worked perfectly.
You'll need:
Organic Grade B Maple Syrup
a bunch of lemons and/or limes
cayenne pepper
unrefined or uniodized sea salt
laxative tea (I used something hilariously called "Smooth Move," winner of a WRAP award -- "Waste Reduction Awards Program." Seriously.)
a large pitcher
a 32 oz. thermos
bottled water
a whole lot of toilet paper
The night before day one, drink the laxative tea. When you wake up, it's time for the Salt Water Flush. Fill your 32. oz thermos to the top with water and heat until it's lukewarm. Pour the heated water back into your thermos and add two teaspoons of the sea salt. (I used a bit more than two, it triggers the bowels faster.) Then...drink it. It's not pleasant, but just get it down fast. Now you're waiting for the assplosion to begin. It generally takes about a half hour to kick in, so use that time to make your lemonade.
Pour roughly 60 oz. of water into the pitcher (Fill your 32 oz. thermos twice and pour the water in). Add 12 tablespoons of the syrup. Add 12 tablespoons of lemon or lime juice. (It's best to actual fresh lemons/limes, which is obnoxious. I cut each lemon/lime and squeezed, you may want to purchase a juicer or something.) Add 1/2 teaspoon of cayenne pepper. (For me, this much pepper made the drink unbearable. If you don't like the taste of the drink, you're never going to survive the diet. So on the third day, I wised up and started putting half the pepper dose in the drink and taking the rest of the pepper on its own, like a shot. If you make your first batch and gag at the taste, I recommend this.) Now shake the pitcher and pour the mixture back into your thermos. You can bring that thermos to work and drink throughout the day. When you get home, fill the thermos with the rest of the pitcher and drink throughout the evening.
Back to that Salt Water Flush, DO NOT leave the house for 90 minutes after you've taken it. Allow yourself that time in the morning. Once it kicks in, you will be on the toilet for about an hour. If it's hasn't kicked in for you after an hour or so, and you're panicked about all that salt water sitting in your system: massage your stomach, do those torso twists you used to do in gym class, or throw your hands in the air and wave them around like you just don't care. All of these worked for me.
And if nothing's happening, the BEST possible thing you can do to trigger the flush -- and it's something none of the sites mention for some reason -- is to quickly chug a bottle of water. This will work lightning fast and will have you diving for the toilet.
Before bed, drink your tea, and it all starts over again. I did the tea every night, but the salt water I went two days on, one day off. It just didn't seem healthy to me to do that to myself every single morning.
I think that covers everything. If you guys have any questions, feel free to comment on here and ask.
Post a Comment